Produced in: 2006
Genre: muscles, anal, oral sex
Duration: 2 hour 19 min
Director: Thor Stephans (a.k.a. Peter Goesinya)
Chad Farrell, Park Wiley, Stetson Gable, Jonathan West, Justin Dragon, Jason Crew, Anthony Shaw, Justin Wells, Cameron Fox and Dillon Press. Also featuring Vince Harrington, Lana Luster, Jazmine, Dan Cross and Thor Stephans in non-sexual roles.
It’s bad news for a biker who is injured on a dirt road, but the paramedics arrive just in time for the credits. Cameron Fox decides they have to hurry, since the “guy is in bad shape.” CUT! Elfin director Vince Harrington is furious at Cameron for not knowing his lines and the central gimmick of “The Paramedics” is revealed. It’s a porn spoof of porn. With writer-director Thor Stephans at the helm, I would expect nothing less than non-stop hilarity, and that’s just what ensues. He fires venomous darts at everyone in the industry, but lovingly coats them with gobs of humorous honey. Using a cast of models beyond perfection, he doesn’t let the sex doesn’t get completely lost in the talky soapy spectacle. There’s room enough in this epic for everything.
Hassled Vince has other problems. Producer Dan Cross (playing himself) finds two of the models don’t have IDs and studio owner Dillon Press has the hots for Cameron Fox, which is getting in the way. Those models without ID are Park Wiley and Chad Farrell, who are found in an ambulance getting in on without cameras rolling. In his defense, Chad does have a “gym card,” and their coke-snorting agent (an unbilled and amusing Thor Stephans himself) is no help. Not caring for IDs or shooting schedules, the guys are bent on getting it on. “Can’t you cum twice?” Park baits Chad before going down on him. Park rattles off a deep-throat of tall brunet Chad’s dick with amazing simplicity. Chad then takes his turn, going for a head-twister blowjob. The dick that fits in Park’s mouth so well does just the same in his ass, with Chad, veins popping out all over, showing rabid attention to the fine plug. Park’s ride works just as well and doesn’t end until he cums. Chad then has a good shot all over his abs. There are two comical “interviews” with the guys after this scene where they remember it happening in two very different ways.
Dillon is not only worried about Cameron (and Vince chastises him that “it’s not very professional, sweetie, to fuck with the models”) but also the budget and the all-important master tapes. This leads into an “interview” with Vince, where he admits he “got sidetracked into making fuck films,” rather than using his theater degree. Vince, sporting a dressing gown and riding crop, shows two incredibly hunky real-life paramedics around the set while P.A. Kyle Lewis salivates over these two gods. Meanwhile, star Justin Dragon is complaining about having to do a dialogue scene with Lana Luster and the bottom hasn’t shown up! Oh, and Lana? Well, the Vince Harrington-look-a-like is busy in the dressing room trying on wigs (“too Barbara Stanwyck” is the blonde one, “too Susan Hayward” is the red one, but the dark Ava Gardner suits her). And producer Dan? All he can complain about is “long, long scripts.”
Video quality: DVDRip
Video Format: AVI
Video Codec: XviD
Audio Codec: MP3
Video: 640×480 (1.33:1), 23.976 fps, XviD 1.1 beta 1 (build 38) ~988 kbps avg, 0.13 bit/pixel
Audio: 44.100 kHz, MPEG Layer 3, 2 ch, ~128.00 kbps avg